Glow In The Dark Stars

Ostensibly, I get along better than most. I have my own world, and I fill it to the brim with the things I love. I wake up in the morning and know exactly what I want (a cup of coffee), and I go about my day with open arms. But the reality I see through my eyes feels extremely different. Hollow, empty, full, voluminous....It isn't fair to want so many contradictory things. There's nothing worse than loving to be out of control. Holding up your biggest and most dangerous flaws above the crowd, for show, leave the telling to the metaphors you hand out like paper money. You call yourself a poet because you believe in things while no one believes in you. You call yourself a poet because you write from your own perspective. You call yourself a poet because you make believe you suffer. You call yourself a poet because you play tricks on your own two eyes, and pretend that optical illusions are just a result of blind faith. You call yourself a poet because you can listen to the same song twenty times in a row and still feel tears welling up in your throat. But you're just a scared little girl who was born with an old heart. You're lost, and you love it, but you still continue to shoot up flares into the night sky just to see what will happen. You believe everything happens for a reason, and that everyone is put into your life to play the part of teacher, student, or both. The fear lives on, and the fear lives inside of everything you do. In order to understand the fear, you must become the fear. You must inundate every aspect of who you are and who you want to be with this shadow, and then maybe the light will come. And if the light should come, you ought not tie it on a string around your neck like a key, but shake hands, say hello, and watch it walk away with a straight back and unshaken disposition. A friendly encounter, a fleeting encounter, and a wound to prove it's worth.

Quixotic : foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals; especially : marked by rash lofty romantic ideas or extravagantly chivalrous action


copyright Yasamin Aftahi 2011