I'd Do It All Again

I hate the decisions I make when I am thinking clearly...

The other night I was lying in bed, listening to Hide and Seek on repeat on my iPod. I don't know what it is about that song, but every time I hear it it makes me so sad that I have physical heart pains. It must have been around 2 am, and I know I was the only one in the house who was awake. And through the pain, I came to realize that I was smiling. My heart had been dormant for so long; I had been running from any form of emotion for weeks, maybe even months. The feeling I had was similar to the first breathe you take after being underwater for too long. Magnified relief. I am a masochist. I create the situations that ruin me. Maybe I enjoy the process of putting all the pieces back together, knowing I can make them fit however pleases me. But I truly believe that there is something wrong with my choice of a hobby. Every line is blurred. I am haunted by the demons of the ones I love, and the ones that may or may not love me.

please explain this

Macbook

Working at Jamba Juice, making overpriced smoothies for the yuppies of Southern California has never felt more rewarding than in this moment, as I am typing my first blog since October on my brand new Macbook!

Maybe this computer will make it easier to stay in touch with the cyber world I tend to hide from.