I hate the decisions I make when I am thinking clearly...
The other night I was lying in bed, listening to Hide and Seek on repeat on my iPod. I don't know what it is about that song, but every time I hear it it makes me so sad that I have physical heart pains. It must have been around 2 am, and I know I was the only one in the house who was awake. And through the pain, I came to realize that I was smiling. My heart had been dormant for so long; I had been running from any form of emotion for weeks, maybe even months. The feeling I had was similar to the first breathe you take after being underwater for too long. Magnified relief. I am a masochist. I create the situations that ruin me. Maybe I enjoy the process of putting all the pieces back together, knowing I can make them fit however pleases me. But I truly believe that there is something wrong with my choice of a hobby. Every line is blurred. I am haunted by the demons of the ones I love, and the ones that may or may not love me.
please explain this
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